Posted under Musing
Steph: I’ve been eating everything that gets within 5 feet of my mouth this week.
Aharon: I know. After this baby is out of you, I’m cutting you off. It will be like Ethiopia in our house. The U.N. will have to make food drops.
Steph: 
Posted under Musing
I place thee at my nose’s door,
Tilt mine head, and start to pour.
In one nostril, out the other -
Cleansing this expectant mother
Of pervasive airborne allergens
And discomfort that their presence lends.
From deep within mine closet, hidden,
Past western remedies now forbidden
I’ll take thee out and hail thy powers -
And use thee every 3-4 hours;
Thy waters causeth me to shudder;
But for results like this, I’ll have anudder.
Posted under Musing
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Young [censored], frail and faint, Suffered obvious mental constraint. Still slack-jawed and dense, He lacks basic sense; And one wonders – does he still eat lead paint? |
| There lived a [censored] [censored], Whose breath tainted air by the liters. His audible heaving Left neighbors believing He’d strapped rotten meat to space heaters. |
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Posted under Musing
Some days, the office building uses a bit more air conditioning than it should.
Posted under Musing
You may detect a stronger scent
In places where my time was spent;
I departed today
In a casual way,
Quite neglecting to use deodorant.
Posted under Musing
Once upon a time, a day after the latest sheep was slaughtered, a Scottish gent said to his fellow clan members,
“Weh cannut jeest throo aweh thees shehp carrrcass – there’s meat upon the booones leaft to be hahd! Let’s teahk the innarrrds, screap oot the remnants of the heead and oother parrrts which noo mahn shoould eaht, and grrrind eht ahl t’getharrr. Thehn let’s boil barrrley, and mix thaht with the grrroooound innarrrds! Weh must ahl be cerrtain NOOT t’ aahd ANNEH FLAVORRRR whatsooevarrrr! Ahfter thaht, let’s teahk the innarrrds and barrrley mixturrrre, STOOFF it in t’ tha stomach we pulled ooout from the shehp carrrcass, ahnd BOIL it until noot eevn the moost eeeevil of demons would DARRRRE to touch it! Thehn let’s EEEAT it with as much meade as we can consume! Weh should call it HAGGIS!”
This historically accurate information is brought to you courtesy of Kat (shown), who recently reminded me of it. The two are otherwise unrelated.
Check out Kat’s blog at www.mysinglemomlife.com for a ton of freebies and giveaways (I just spied a link to a Cuisinart Food Prep giveaway and am all over it), movie and product reviews, and other information of useful, thoughtful and entertaining nature. From child support issues to those generous folk who over-share their bass, she covers it.
Posted under Musing
[Me]: Is the boss gone for the day?
[Coworker]: yep, he had to go home and work on his fence.
Posted under Musing
Posted under Musing
[Husband]: what do we have on TV tonight?
[Me]: nothing. we’ll have to watch tummy reductions and excess skin removal on discovery health.
[Husband]: that’s all they have on that channel. they should call it “discovery thin.”
